Cow Tipping, it's Udder Chaos
by broadwaybaby529
Summary: Based on the last episode. semi- spoilers by the way it's actually pretty stupid. Random oneshot. Slash goodness. If you don't like it don't read it. Simple. Yea, Greg's thoughts on a certain item and Nick's urges. :


Cow tipping, it's udder chaos 

Disclaimer: I didn't produce National Treasure,

Or pirates one, two and three,

I definitely didn't create CSI,

I'm not Jerry Brukheimer,

Please don't sue me:)

A/N – Okay, Yea the title is weird, it's based on the last episode which was titled Bull so I though why the hell not. It's based on my fiend's shirt. So whatever if it doesn't fit the story. At all. You lovely people will just have to deal with it. And my mindless ramblings which are obviously occurring cause if you can't tell I like to ramble, wait let me check, yea still rambling. Okay this has got to stop. Why are you even still reading this stupid author's note? I just skip them anyway. Okay, onto the story.:)

Dude it was like a freaking bull vibrator. Sitting in his hands. Great he had a huge ass vibrator meant for a male _bull_ sitting in his hands, covered in god only knows. Okay so he knew, but please who wants to admit that. Suddenly his latex gloves didn't feel very protecting. It's just him and Nick in the garage, well him and Nick and that _thing_. Jesus Christ Superstar. Who even makes vibrators for bulls. Don't answer that.

Then Wendy enters. " Nick, Greg. You guys know where Catherine is?" Greg shakes his head, still slightly shell shocked by the thing in front of him. " Nah" Nick's voice is what distracts him from the monstrosity however. Nick has a really nice voice. It's deep and low and so humanly , like all he wants in the world is for everyone to be happy and settle down and have a purple mini van, a white fence and 2.4 kids. "Oh" Wendy sounds disappointed, like she has information she really wants to share.

" I got the samples done from the semen stains on his jeans" Both Nick and Greg look up at the sound of semen stains. It's not just because they've gotten more then their fair share of semen stains on their pants, scratch that, each other's pants, (and bed sheets and car seats and carpets and showers and counter tops, the list could go on and it does) and it's not just because they've been processing a scene together for over 7 hours and neither of them have gotten their rocks off in over 36 cause of the constant sleep/work schedule. It's not completely because they're both horny. Just partially. The other part is because it is their job to figure these things out. They didn't become CSIs just so that they could find hot co-workers and screw them on every imaginable surface. Oh damn that's right; the job was beginning to sound a little too nice.

"What did you find? " Nick asks Wendy. She smiles. " I had to go through apex" ( A/n- I know that's wrong but I forgot the name of the database) She says. Now Greg looks up. " it wasn't human" She starts to ramble on about a guy who could only get off with livestock but Greg isn't listening anymore. Instead he's imagining Nick wearing his cowboy boots and nothing else. Save a horse, ride a cowboy. Hard and fast and over and over and over again until you hear your alarm go off the next morning and you have to make up an excuse of why you're late to work and covered in hickies" Well there really is no excuse for that is there?

Wendy leaves and Nick thanks God under his breath. " Greg" He mutters. Bedroom voice. This is not going to end with either of them wearing clean pants. " I'm freaking dying of a boner right now cause you have been staring at that thing for the last 10 minutes and I have a perfect view of you ass" Greg smiles. " We still have to work Nicky" But he's on the brink of whining cause he knows how much he wants it too. "Nick you know what is really awful about this case" Greg asks. Nick has patience and he lets Greg keep talking. " The thought of cowboys really turns me on" Nick growls. But Greg shakes that _thing _in his face and Nick backs off immidiatly. He make like some kinds of sperm but he most certainly doesn't want that anywhere near him. " If you can make it til the end of shift then we can get out your cowboy boots and whips if you'd like" Greg whispers. " Because I've got a freaking hardon that is very painful through my jeans but I want it to be really good for all this torture." Nick nods, though unhappily. " End of shift, but I'm telling you at this point one good look at your…." He never gets the chance to finish cause Griss walks in and the conversation is over.

It's late, so late it's almost early.Tangled in sheets and sweat Nick and Greg lay cuddled together. " You know" Greg whispers. " Not all cowboys turn me on" He paused " Just you"

A/N- Well you know there was seriously no point to that AT ALL. But whatever. Didn't turn out the way I planned. If I can deal with the stupidity I'm sure you lovely people can. And I am done rambling.


End file.
